Deer Country Application

[pained_expression]

Character Base

• Character Name: Abdirak
• Age: Maybe 30s?
• Canon (Date/Year Released)/Canon Point: Baldur's Gate (Act 1 released October 2020)/End of Act 1 (1492 DR)
• Items Coming Along:
1. His clothes, which somehow leave him seeming more shirtless than if he was completely topless. It's quite a feat. This also incorporates the nine-tailed scourge symbol of Loviatar, acting as Abdirak's spellcasting focus.
2. Loviatar's Scourge- A common replica of the scourge itself that can cause necrotic damage to all nearby targets, including the wielder. (NOTE: While the name, and some of Abdirak's lines indicate this is supposed to be a scourge, the game is in Early Access at the moment, and physics-y weapons like whips are not available at the moment. The model of this weapon is currently a generic mace, and it's unclear if or when this mismatch will be updated. I'm going to stay consistent with the intent of the game, because if I were consistent to how it is now, things would be... very weird.)
3. A ritual dagger- sacrificing some blood to it provides an invigorating effect. Further effects can be achieved by striking others.
4. A ritual axe- Attacking a target causes them to experience disorientation or misfortune. If the wielder is not already seriously wounded, they are also hurt.
5. On Receiving Her Grace- a Loviatan religious text.
6. The Screed of the Willing- another Loviatan religious text.
• Content Warnings for Character:

Character Background

• History: CW: mention of self-harm. Note: Baldur's Gate 3 appears to deviate from previous D&D 5e and Forgotten Realms canon in a number of places, including on key concepts such as doing away with the good/evil/chaotic/lawful alignment system and the character restrictions sometimes implied by it. Where they diverge, I follow the information presented in BG3. Player choice shapes a lot in BG3, so I'm going to assume that the player interacts with Abdirak at all possible points, receives his blessing, and does not kill him, as there's no story reason to do so.

Abdirak is not particularly forthcoming about his backstory, but we know that he has lived through a turbulent period in Faerûn's history, including the world-shaping event called the Second Sundering. Abdirak suffered from an unspecified mental health problem, with scars on his wrists indicating he also engaged in self-harm. At some point during this period, he encountered the Loviatan faith.

Worship of the goddess Loviatar is often suppressed, and its followers tend to hide their affiliation. She is seen by many as a cruel goddess, who revels in the suffering of innocents. But Loviatans say that their goddess loves pain as an expression of mortal life, as it is a sensation she is not privy to. That love is central to their worship, and encouraged in her followers. Some of her priests move in secret, teaching others her ways, and alleviating unloved suffering through their own peculiar methods.

It's likely that Abdirak was recruited by one of these priests, joining one of their temples and training to become a priest himself. This aided his ongoing mental health recovery process, though his zeal to experience and inflict pain has resulted in an accumulation of more scars. Unlike his previous self-harm, these scars show signs of proper medical care.

In the particularly eventful year of 1492 DR, Abdirak has been traveling, seeking out new forms of pain, like-minded souls, and those in need of Loviatar's blessing. This led him to receive an invitation from the chief torturer of a goblin tribe that had recently been folded into the new Cult of the Absolute. While Abdirak enthusiastically accepted the invitation, he soon became skeptical of the torturer's claims of mastery over pain. While there, he met a group of suspiciously main character-shaped travelers. He recognized a hidden anguish in them, and offered to help provide Loviatar's peace. One accepted, and bore the pain with a fervor that impressed both Abdirak and his goddess--before they parted, he was able to provide them with her blessing.

Events precipitated by player choices unfolded such that the goblin tribe's leaders were killed by the travelers. This sent the tribe into a fury, and Abdirak made his exit. While leaving, he encountered the travelers one final time. He warned them of the chaos to follow in the camp, and that they should leave. He didn't mention it to them, but he left a gift behind for any who needed it: A book, urging them to live. And know that when they suffered, Loviatar was watching over them.

• Core Relationships:

Abdirak's relationship with Loviatar herself is the primary anchor of his life. It's been instrumental in his ongoing mental health recovery. On a mundane level, he's someone working out his issues through an S&M lifestyle. But the gods are an active force in Faerûn, and Loviatar is no exception. As one of her priests, he has a direct connection to her. While they may not converse directly, he can feel Loviatar's approval when he prays, takes actions that sufficiently align with her desires, and administers the faith to a sufficient degree. He's even granted magic by her power.

The books that Abdirak keeps with him indicate that this relationship also enforces a certain level of self-care and self-love, by externalizing the reason for engaging in both. While he may not find himself particularly lovable at times, worshipers of Loviatar are encouraged to not hurt themselves in ways that could permanently affect their ability to make offerings to her, and to seek and administer pain with love. Given his direct connection to Loviatar, he knows these teachings as truth.

That connection may not always have been constant, however: Forgotten Realms lore states that there was a recent period in which clerics essentially lost their connections to their gods. While it's not clear what happened to the Loviatans during this period, this likely means that separation from his goddess is not a new concept, and he's capable of continuing without her presence.

On the other hand, his devotion to Loviatar has left him... somewhat undiscerning in where and how he finds kinship with others. While he explicitly states he won't kill anyone and becomes aggravated by a torturer's cruelty, he doesn't attempt to free their prisoner, who he was apparently brought on to assist with. These sketchy contacts with others may potentially extend to other allied religious groups: As noted above, Baldur's Gate 3 deviates from Forgotten Realms canon in some places, but 5e states that Loviatar is associated with Bane, a god of edgelords terror, hate, and tyrannical oppression, and her followers have assisted Bane's in the past. Bane is presently a pseudo-deity and thus physically present among his followers, much like the Pthumerians. I consider it likely that with this starting point, Abdirak would adapt relatively quickly to the situation in Trench. He just might not differentiate as strongly between its good and bad aspects as he should.

Loviatans are considered an evil cult by much of Faerûn, and this leads to active conflict between the church and several more common faiths, most notably the Church of Ilmater. As the god of martyrs, followers of Ilmater consider all suffering to be evils that their priests may endure in the place of others. While Abdirak does not speak directly about Ilmater, his disdain for this philosophy is still evident--in his mind, pain should not be rejected or faced with stoicism, it should be welcomed and experienced openly. If he feels safe to do so, he will absolutely express this opinion to anyone who disagrees, with a level of vociferousness that may seem odd to those from beyond Faerûn--In 5e canon, Ilmatari paladins are known to hunt down and kill followers of Loviatar on sight. Thus, glorification of martyrdom can often be sign of an existential threat to their faith.

Character Personality Through Key Moments

(2+) Positive Experiences: Abdirak is eager to help those in need, and can sometimes pick up on unspoken grief or trauma. While some Loviatans wear fully covering clothes, he makes no attempt to hide his old scars, which clearly mark him as someone who used to engage in self-harm. He empathizes with those who are suffering without purpose, and wants to help them the same way he was helped. Peace and serenity are what he offers, through unconventional means.

In contravention to previous D&D canon, Abdirak is surprisingly sane and supportive with his practices when others are involved. He outright refuses to work on those who are already injured, halts without complaint if he's told to stop, and is quick and enthusiastic to praise and encourage those he ministers to. He believes pain should be "intimate and loving - not violent and brutish". He also explicitly states that "my interest is in pain, not death." He wants no part in any deadly violence, and will attempt to remove himself from situations which might call for it.

(2+) Negative Experiences:

While he mostly avoids the tropes of an evil priest of an S&M goddess, Abdirak falls into two other categories of bad BDSM behavior:

Abdirak is too accepting of actually harmful behavior when he believes there's a unifying interest in pain. While it's reasonable to not assume outright that goblins are always cruel, he did remain in their camp after realizing he was there to assist with the torture of a prisoner. While it's unclear if he actually participated and he did openly state his disapproval of the goblins' behavior, he made no effort to free the captive either.

Abdirak also fails to set strong expectations or boundaries for a scene. That includes a lack of safeword. This can obviously lead to misunderstanding, especially if he fails to interpret the intent or tone of someone's words. He means well, but his actions can have unwanted consequences.

Deer Country Attributes

• Canon Powers: In line with D&D 5e's suggestions, Abdirak is a level 3 Death Domain cleric. His stats are available here. As a cleric, this means he has spells within his domain that he can always cast. He can also prepare other spells when he takes a long rest, and perform prepared magical rituals. These are dependent on his faith in Loviatar, and an active connection to her, or a like-minded being. This means he will rely on finding a compatible Pthumerian if he wants to perform magic.

Clerics are able to channel divine energy from their deity, allowing them to turn away undead. Loviatan priests are also able to harm others with a touch. This channeling is taxing, and requires rest before it can be done again.

Abdirak also feels Loviatar's Love--this blessing means that if he's ever grievously injured, he becomes stronger and more focused. (in D&D mechanical terms: +2 to all attacks and saving throws if under 30% HP.)

• Blood Type: Paleblood
• Omen: A small, nine-headed hydra.
• Blessed Day: May 1
• Patron Pthumerian: Bausphomette
• Blood Power Manifestation: Empathy, telepathy during heightened states (like, say, prayer), prophecies specifically regarding future pain. These prophecies may cause pain themselves, or a feeling like the memory of a painful event.

Writing Samples

One: His TL on the TDM
Two: Tagging out to Jun Ushiro

The Player

• Player Name: Spider
• Player Age: My first LJ account is old enough to get a learner's permit to drive in most of the US.
• Player Contact: CellarSpider#9984 or PaleAntiquarian
• Permissions: Here.

Other Characters

White Mask Varré (Elden Ring)

Link to Character 1 overall AC: Here.